Finding out your teen is being bullied can be one of the most challenging moments as a parent. It’s natural to feel heartbreak, frustration, or even anger. But your role is crucial: providing calm, steady support and actionable strategies to help your teen regain their sense of control and confidence.

Bullying is more than just a schoolyard issue—it can affect a teen’s mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. This guide explores what your teen can do to address bullying and how you can support them in navigating this tough experience.

What Your Teen Can Do to Handle Bullying

When faced with bullying, it’s easy for teens to feel helpless, but there are practical steps they can take to regain their sense of power and agency.

1. Ignore the Bully

Bullies often seek a reaction. Whether it’s anger, sadness, or fear, seeing their target upset can fuel their behaviour. Teach your teen to remain calm and disengaged. It’s not easy, but ignoring the bully might make them lose interest over time.

2. Practice Assertive Body Language

Confidence can deter bullies. Encourage your teen to stand tall, with shoulders back and head high. This body language not only projects self-assurance but can also make them a less likely target. Even if they don’t feel confident, this “fake it till you make it” approach can help.

3. Speak Up with a Strong Voice

Sometimes, addressing the bully directly can make a difference. Teach your teen to use a clear, firm voice to say things like, “Stop!” or “I’m not listening to you.” This shows the bully their words or actions aren’t effective.

4. Avoid the Bully’s Spaces

Help your teen identify areas where bullying tends to happen, such as unsupervised hallways, isolated corners, or certain online platforms. Encourage them to avoid these spaces whenever possible and stay in areas where others are present.

5. Stick with Friends

Bullies are less likely to target someone who isn’t alone. Encourage your teen to spend time with friends or a trusted buddy. Having someone by their side can provide both moral support and a deterrent to bullying behaviour.

6. Gather Evidence

If the bullying is ongoing, encourage your teen to keep a record of incidents. This could include writing down dates, times, what happened, and who was involved. Screenshots can also be helpful for online bullying. This documentation can be invaluable when reporting the behaviour to teachers or authorities.

7. Talk to Someone They Trust

Remind your teen that they don’t have to face this alone. Encourage them to talk to you, a teacher, a school counsellor, or a trusted friend about what’s happening. Sharing their experiences can help them process their emotions and develop a plan of action.

How You Can Support Your Teen

As a parent or caregiver, your role is to be a steady, supportive presence in your teen’s life. Here’s how you can help them navigate bullying effectively:

1. Believe Them

The most important thing you can do is believe your teen. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that you’re there to help. Feeling validated can make a huge difference in how they cope.

2. Advocate at School

Contact the school to inform them about the bullying. Request a meeting to develop a plan for addressing the situation. If your teen is worried about retaliation, suggest scheduling the meeting outside school hours. Follow up regularly to ensure the plan is working.

3. Help Them Challenge the Bully’s Words

Explain to your teen that what the bully says reflects the bully’s issues, not their worth. Encourage them to question hurtful statements and view them as opinions rather than facts. This can help reduce the emotional impact.

4. Separate Their Self-Worth from the Bullying

Reinforce that their value isn’t defined by what a bully says or does. Highlight their strengths, achievements, and the qualities that make them unique. Building their self-esteem helps them bounce back more easily.

5. Build Resilience

Support your teen in developing resilience so the bullying doesn’t have a lasting impact. Encourage activities they enjoy, help them set goals, and foster positive relationships with supportive people.

6. Teach Assertiveness Skills

Role-play scenarios where your teen can practice standing up for themselves. Teach them to use confident language and body posture, so they feel more prepared to handle bullying situations.

7. Prepare for Physical Safety

If the bullying involves physical aggression, make sure your teen knows how to protect themselves. Teach them to:

• Be aware of exits and stay in public areas.
• Make noise to attract attention if they feel threatened.
• Deflect or block physical aggression if necessary.

8. Cultivate Empathy

Explain that bullies often act out because of their own struggles, like insecurity or problems at home. While this doesn’t excuse their behaviour, it can help your teen see that the bullying isn’t about them—it’s about the bully’s issues.

9. Seek Professional Help

Bullying can take a serious toll on a teen’s mental and emotional well-being, sometimes leading to anxiety, depression, or feelings of isolation. If your teen is struggling to cope, seeking professional help from a councellor or therapist can make a significant difference.

A mental health professional can:

• Provide your teen with tools to manage stress and emotions.
• Help them build self-esteem and resilience in a safe and supportive environment.
• Offer guidance on how to navigate bullying situations and heal from the experience.

Reassure your teen that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a powerful step toward taking control of their mental health. If they’re hesitant, consider framing therapy as a space to talk freely without judgment or pressure.

How You Can Help:
Research therapists or counsellors who specialize in working with teens. Involve your teen in the decision-making process so they feel comfortable and included in finding the right support.

Including professional help as part of the solution ensures that your teen gets comprehensive care, not only addressing the bullying itself but also any lasting emotional impact.

How to Start the Conversation

Sometimes teens feel hesitant to tell parents about bullying because they fear overreaction or believe it won’t help. To open up a supportive dialogue, try saying:

• “I’ve noticed you seem upset lately. Is there something going on that you’d like to talk about?”
• “If something’s bothering you, know that I’m here to listen and help however I can.”

When they do share, focus on listening. Avoid jumping straight to solutions—let them feel heard first.

Putting It All Together

Bullying is a complex issue, but with the right strategies and support, your teen can overcome it. By encouraging open communication, teaching them actionable steps, and showing them you’re in their corner, you empower your teen to face challenges with strength and resilience.

Your support is key to helping them rebuild confidence and regain control. Together, you can work through this and come out stronger on the other side.

💬 Have you supported your teen through bullying? What strategies worked for you? Share your experiences in the comments to help other parents.